It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
