I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Found your dick twin last night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
