I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The air taste purple.
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