OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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