nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize