I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
