he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Enjoy the penises
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
