My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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