This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize