we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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