she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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