Do you still have your period?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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