i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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