So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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