i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
