wanna go halves on a baby?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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