"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Are my feet made of real feet?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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