I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
