dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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