no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
