he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
