Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
