remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
