she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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