So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
