The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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