he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
