Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
