i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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