Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
