White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
