My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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