Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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