he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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