i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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