Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
