You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
