Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
