My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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