You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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