You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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