Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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