So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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