So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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