i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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