worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
