i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
