New low: just hacked my moms facebook
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize