we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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