I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
