I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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