And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
