All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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