Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
