I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
