One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize