is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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