I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is classic penis vs brain.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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