Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
