Porn is love you can see.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
