Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
